Today I was comforted by my own inadequacy. Sounds weird, follow me for a second.
Christina and I have to raise monthly support before we can leave for Mexico City. Let me clarify. We have to raise A LOT of monthly support before we can leave for Mexico City (don’t worry, we’ll still be poor missionaries). I won’t get into the details of why we have to raise so much but basically we will be “self-employed.” All the health insurance costs your job covers, we raise. All the taxes (state, fed, and other) your employer pays, we raise. The salary your boss gives you, we have to raise.
In my humanness I began thinking through ways I could “attract” people to give toward our ministry and different connections I could make, churches I could speak at, business meetings where I could “pitch” my ministry. All the work began piling up in front of me like tower.
Then I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t do it. It was too much for me to do. My heart sank in defeat. I struggled through my thoughts and anxiety for a week or so until I saw my situation in a different light. Like a fist striking me in the gut, I was stopped dead in my tracks, forced to the ground, on my knees in submission. I still realized that I couldn’t raise the money I needed to, but this time I realized that God could. It is supposed to be that way! I can’t do it but God can! The solution to my problem: STOP relying on myself and START relying on Him. It seems so simple and elementary but it was something I was somehow overlooking.
The realization of my own inadequacy gave me so much hope because I can fully rely on the power of God! And the amazing thing that happened was that as soon as I realized that God was slapping me across the face with me own sinfulness I began seeing Him work immediately. I feel renewed and ready to take on the world because I now know that God will bring our support, I just need to be faithful and do my part.
From Mexico (soon) Con Amor,